


jimichisa

by pudgypanda



Series: satoru [5]
Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, love after trauma, sakura reflects on shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 16:49:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18721081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pudgypanda/pseuds/pudgypanda
Summary: jimichisa: steadiness__Sakura writes a letter, and Sasuke reflects on the paths they've taken.





	jimichisa

She is writing a letter to Ino, he realizes.

They are enjoying the unusual luxury of staying in an inn, for once, as they are in Kiri to restock Sakura’s medical supplies and meet a long-trusted contact of Sasuke’s who has taken up permanent residence here. It means they are safe enough to actually indulge in a real bed and a real shower without compromising the anonymity their work requires.

And oh, did they ever indulge.

After a _particularly long_ shower, Sakura is perched at the desk in their room, head bowed and still wrapped in a fluffy towel. Confused as to what could have her single-minded attention for so long, Sasuke leans over her to investigate - definitely not just an excuse to drop a kiss onto her bare shoulder. He admires the fluid lines of her handwriting for several moments before realizing he is peeking into Sakura’s personal correspondence, but even as he starts to back away, she does not seem to mind. She absentmindedly nuzzles against his face even as she continues writing. His curiosity gets the better of him, and so with this unspoken permission he scans the page she continues working on.

Her voice in this personal letter is such a stark contrast from the tone she uses when they draft reports back to Kakashi. It differs even from the other letters she has written Ino, which dealt mostly with professional matters such as the portion of Sakura’s administrative and clinical work at the hospital that she asked Ino to take on, once Kakashi-sensei had finally relented to letting her head out on the road with Sasuke. The Sixth conceded that a two-man team with a powerful med-nin would be more effective at neutralizing targets, and that Sakura’s unique chakra control could prove useful in gathering intel.

He turns his attention to the loops of ink, finding that she is already writing the second page of a long correspondence.

… _I don’t know, Ino-pig. In my younger fantasies, he would have never left Konoha and we would have been childhood sweethearts all along. We would have snuck around with Itachi as our chaperone, Sasuke would have had to make promises of curfew to my parents, and Mikoto-san would have embarrassed him with baby photos whenever I was over._

Sasuke smiles wryly, imagining all the ways his mother would have loved to humiliate him before Sakura.

_But then I realize that in all those dreamt scenarios, I have no idea who Sasuke is, or even who I am. Who would I be without having realized I needed to grow my own strength? Who would Sasuke be without the fearless drive he had to succeed? Every time, I circle back to thinking that the way it happened is the only way it could have happened, should have happened._

_But hasn’t this way cost far too many lives, too? Too many years of heartache? Not just for me, not just for the village, but for Sasuke too. We are where are now because of so many afflictions to which nobody should ever have had to bear witness - we are who we are because Sasuke’s whole world was violently wrenched from him as a child, because I watched him and Naruto nearly die time and time again, because I pleaded for him to stay as he left, because I tried to kill him even as he tried to kill me._

Sasuke’s chest tightens at the thought of what Sakura has been through, what _he’s_ put her through. And she still has the presence of mind to think of his suffering.

He breathes in the warmth of her bare skin and continues reading.

_Remember all those times you told me to move on? I was always so mad at you for saying that in the beginning. But we both know I would have told you - or Tenten or Hinata or Temari honestly - the same thing if the roles had been switched. It’s not like I didn’t try! Remember that disastrous blind date you set me up on? And those steamy flings Temari and I had with the tourists from Inaho. They were fun, but you totally called me out on the fact that I was still hanging onto this dream of someone long gone._

Sasuke has already heard Sakura mention these instances in passing, and each time, he refuses to be jealous. He has had his share of physical indulgences, too. And _kami_ knows he barely deserves Sakura now, so what right could he possibly have had to her then?

_I never admitted it, but I knew in my heart that you were right. There was too much hurt, with no promise that Sasuke would ever come back, and I deserved someone who hadn’t wounded me and for whom I didn’t have to wait. I needed someone that didn’t need fixing._

Silently, Sasuke agrees.

_But deep down, we all knew that even in the happiest scenario, if I had found someone who could give me all of that, there would always be a part of my heart lost to Sasuke._

Sasuke’s heart wrenches painfully. He still cannot fathom the depths of this love she bears for him.

_But of all the possibilities, who could ever have imagined things would turn out this way? There’s something that just feels so right about how all of it happened. I guess that’s what you were trying to tell me, about how you felt about Sai. Sasuke-kun and I have both grown up, and we still have more growing to do. He’s trying, though - and often at his own expense._

Nothing even close to what she deserves, he thinks.

_Maybe genin Sakura would have wanted us to be lovers sooner, with less heartache. And for the sake of the world and me and Sasuke too, I still wish that sometimes. But I can’t regret the way it happened. Now that we’re here, I find it so much sweeter to fall in love with him all over again, now that we’re older - now that we’ve both loved and lost._

Suddenly, she straightens, yawning. Her arms reach upwards and her back arches, and he hears the pop of her spine as she stretches. As she puts the ink away, Sasuke stands up and gently kneads the side of his thumb into that spot below her shoulder blade, and she sighs, relaxing into his touch.

“Tired?” he murmurs.

“Mm,” she responds, and leans back against his chest as he stands behind her. “I’ll finish it tomorrow.” He can already see her eyelids sliding shut with fatigue.

She squeals with weak protest and surprise when he suddenly stoops to scoop her out of her chair, her towel falling in the process, but he has learned by now that she enjoys a bit of pampering now and again. He eases her into bed, and she nestles herself along his side, bare and smooth against him. Drowsily, he presses his lips to her eyelid, her temple.

Maybe the path they took to each other was full of unimaginable pain, Sasuke thinks. And while nobody should have to choose whether or not to endure any of it again, they have each other here, on the other side of it all. It is more than he would have ever dared to wish for.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the delay!!!!! I have a ton of ideas and ~~vet school interfering in every aspect of my life~~ not enough time to flesh any of them out. But they're coming! I promise!
> 
> As someone who has been Through Some Shit myself, I often think about the way that trauma has shaped me, but how I wish I could have learned those lessons or gained those insights in a way that didn't involve so much hurt, or the loss of someone's life. I imagine that given the insanity of their youths, Sakura would have similar sentiments about being with Sasuke after all. And Sasuke, I think, is still slowly thawing into a human again, and all of this is just now coming into focus for him. He is who he is, the one Sakura loves and all, because he found his beloved older brother standing over the corpses of their parents. How can he resolve that?
> 
> Aaaanyway I hope you all enjoyed this little fluffy and yet so very angsty slice of life on the road for these two dorks.
> 
> Love,  
> pudge


End file.
